The last couple of posts centered on a Tell Gathering meeting where a group of adults came together to talk about a response for when a child talks to us inappropriately. It was a two-part post, and then we shared some thoughts from a subscriber. If you’d like to read these, click here for Part 1 or here here for Part 2.
I wanted to share another idea with you that was discussed at length during this particular TELL Gathering meeting. A mom brought up having a “safe at home” family rule. “At home, we try and help one another with challenges. We support one another, we do not use one another as punching bags for what is happening outside the home,” the mom explained. In other words, once home, you are safe and sound!
We all liked the “safe at home” family rule. We talked about how important it was for the parents to model and reinforce the rule if we ever wanted it as a family rule. It’s one thing to say this is the family rule; it’s another to model it and reinforce it.
The mom who brought up the “safe home” rule gave us an example of when her daughter came home from school one day speaking harshly to her and everyone else in the home. She kindly said to her daughter, “Young lady, you will not talk to me or anyone in this house like that. If you’re upset about something that happened at school today, let’s talk about it. Let’s figure it out. I’m here to help you any way I can.”
The daughter huffed to her room. Mom showed up 10 to 15 minutes later. “What happened today to get you in such a bad mood?” They talked it over, and mom ended the conversation by reinforcing the family rule: “Remember, home is where we help each other. We do not take out on each other what other people are doing to us.” Before ending the conversation, she added, “It’s not easy, I know. I struggle too when I’ve had a hard day at work. We need to keep reminding each other that we are here to help, not hurt. I hope you will remind me if you feel I am taking something out on you or your brothers.”
Have you ever considered having a “safe at home” family rule? I am going to change our family rule to “Home is where we t.e.l.l. one another – home is where we teach, encourage, listen, and love one another.” What do you think?
I am curious to hear your thoughts. Drop me a line, let me know!