154: Who do you count on to T.E.L.L. you?

Who in your life can you always count on to TELL you? That is, who in your life do you know without a doubt is willing to teach you, encourage you, listen to you, and love you? Who is there with you, on your side, by your side? Who is there to show you new things when expected, or not? Who helps you realize your best self? Who can you always go to?

mom and teen daughter

Think big around this person. With this person you are never alone. They can help you move toward your dreams and become more than you imagine on your own. You can take risks and be vulnerable around this person knowing they won’t put you down or reject your thoughts and feelings. You are emotionally safe to explore “what if” ideas. Your vulnerabilities are embraced.

We all need the opportunity to try things we’ve never done before if we are to mature in our knowledge and skills. We need the opportunities to explore the “what if” ideas that come to mind. We all need opportunities to be vulnerable if we are ever to grow. Being able to be creative without the fear of pain is crucial. Who are the people with whom you can think big?

Equally important …. Are you that person for someone else? Are you someone with whom people can dream, feel vulnerable, and take a risk? What do you always T.E.L.L. in those moments? Who do you always safely allow to dream and think big?

Every child in particular needs someone to always T.E.L.L. them to try and create something better, something more than they are in the moment. Maybe that person can be you.

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Please note the Show & T.E.L.L. posts are not written to portray guilt or reward to any caregiver. The posts are intended to share a message about interacting intentionally with young people. Tell Our Children is all about uniting, mentoring, and inspiring caregivers to improve communications with the youth. Every post is intended to empower readers to improve interactions with younger generations. Tell Our Children strives to educate caregivers on ways to better Teach, Encourage, Listen, and Love – T.E.L.L. – young people. We believe everyone can T.E.L.L. youth better.
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153: Giving thanks by telling

Saying ‘thank you’ or being thankful is often overlooked by all of us. When individuals go out of their way to do you a favor, do you express gratitude? Do you tell them ‘thank you’? Do you give thanks in those moments?

thanksgiving-1060214_1280

Do you T.E.L.L. your child to say ‘thank you’ when someone does something for them? That is, do you:

Teach your child to say ‘thank you’?

Encourage your child to say ‘thank you’?

Listen for your child to say ‘thank you’?

Love your child to say ‘thank you’?

I heard a mother of a teenager say the other day, “My child takes everything for granted.” Why is that? I wonder if it is because the child has not been taught and encouraged to give thanks enough throughout childhood?

If no one T.E.L.L.s the child to say ‘thank you’, how will they learn to be grateful when someone does something out of the ordinary for them? If no one points out the kind and loving gesture of giving thanks, the natural consequence is a perception of taking things for granted.

Every day there are ways to express gratitude when you stop and pay closer attention to the blessings all around you. Thanks-giving is a gesture we should all commit to paying closer attention to in life. Just maybe this will T.E.L.L. the children around us to do the same.

Happy Thanks-giving everyone!

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152: Perception is reality and you TELL a child your perception

Perception is reality. How you perceive a situation and the relationship of those involved influence how you interact in the moment.

Perception is usually what you believe, and this is based on what you hear, see, and think. You may not control what happens, but you can always control your reactions to what happens. As an adult, you have some control over the perceptions you form. The truth is, you control much of your reality.

Youth, however, up to around age 25, have less control of their reactions. They respond based on how they feel. That’s a biological truth. (See blog #043 if you want to read more about the brain.)

Confused child thinking and looking up

Whether you realize it or not, you influence the perception a younger person forms based on the experiences you provide, based on how you make the youth feel. Your perception of the younger person and the situation will impact how the youth perceives your relationship and similar situations. These perceptions will become part of the adult-in-the-making.

The question to consider is whether you interact to construct a stronger perception or weaker perception for the adult-in-the-making? Will the reality of the younger person grow stronger or weaker? You T.E.L.L. children your perception. The youth are forming their perceptions in childhood depending on how they feel. Help them form better perceptions of the world and of themselves. You control not only your perception but the perceptions you allow the youth in your life to formulate.

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Please note the Show & T.E.L.L. posts are not written to portray guilt or reward to any caregiver. The posts are intended to share a message about interacting intentionally with young people. Tell Our Children is all about uniting, mentoring, and inspiring caregivers to improve communications with the youth. Every post is intended to empower readers to improve interactions with younger generations. Tell Our Children strives to educate caregivers on ways to better Teach, Encourage, Listen, and Love – T.E.L.L. – young people. We believe everyone can T.E.L.L. youth better.

 

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151: Songs, like interactions, T.E.L.L. you

As I’m watching a recording of a show, I hear Tim McGraw, the country singer, saying…

“There’s telling people how you feel and there’s telling people how they feel.”

Whenever anyone uses the word tell, automatically my mind relates what’s being said to what message is being taught, encouraged, listened, and loved in that interaction.

Tim McGraw mentoring a novice singer to think about telling their personal story through singing is one thing, but when your singing impacts how the listener feels, the singer reaches a deeper connection. The singing tells the listeners how they feel.

tim-meme

I sat there thinking about the many songs I enjoy because the words tell a good story: many Christmas carols, “I Dreamed a Dream” sung by Susan Boyle, “My Favorite Things” sung by Julie Andrews… there are many because music is often playing in my home!

And, then there are songs that stir my emotions: “The Power of Love” sung by Celine Dion, “How Great Thou Art” sung by Carrie Underwood and Vince Gill, Wilson Phillips singing “Hold On” … just to name a few.

Tim McGraw is so right; hearing the songs that stir my emotions, the ones that cause me to listen and feel, are the ones that I stop and feel as I listen.

Singing is a form of interacting, telling a story. When we speak, even though our words are not sung or played to music, there is still a story being told. You are telling people how you feel. Do you ever think about how your speech can also be telling people how they feel? How do your interactions leave the other person feeling?

“There’s telling people how you feel and there’s telling people how they feel.”

Today may be a good day to think about how you make others feel. In particular if that other is a younger person. Make them feel better.

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Please note the Show & T.E.L.L. posts are not written to portray guilt or reward to any caregiver. The posts are intended to share a message about interacting intentionally with young people. Tell Our Children is all about uniting, mentoring, and inspiring caregivers to improve communications with the youth. Every post is intended to empower readers to improve interactions with younger generations. Tell Our Children strives to educate caregivers on ways to better Teach, Encourage, Listen, and Love – T.E.L.L. – young people. We believe everyone can T.E.L.L. youth better.

 

 

 

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150: Assist others in creating a positive image

In the previous post (#149), I wrote about T.E.L.L.ing others our image by how we interact with them. When we spend time with others, we form images of one another relative to the situation.

You have a part in assisting others form an image – of you and of them – of your relationship. Why not choose to form stronger images? While you interact, you have the potential to help others form stronger image of themselves and of your relationship with them.

Have do you make others feel? How do you interact and T.E.L.L. others about themselves? Is it a stronger image, for their good? Have you considered how your words and actions have a part in how you Teach, Encourage, Listen, Love another? Have you considered how your words and actions impact how others perceive themselves? Have you thought about how you also communicate your perception of the relationship between you and them?

During childhood, the foundation for our image is largely established. Depending on how others interact with us during these crucial years will impact how we feel about certain relationships and ourselves.

Will you join us in being mindful of the image you project to the youth in your life? Will you help the younger people imagine themselves growing stronger? Will you T.E.L.L. them a stronger and better image of themselves?

You are T.E.L.L.ing them not only about who you are and what to expect from you in the relationship. You are having a part in assisting them in establishing an image of themselves, relationships, and the relative situation.

And, you know how that works … that will also be their image of you. When you interact in such a way the child feels better and stronger, in turn the child will likely believe you are someone who cares about them; someone who wants them stronger, better.

Imagine this, practice this, and create a stronger and better future for us all!

Strong child with muscles drawn on chalkboard in elementary school

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Please note the Show & T.E.L.L. posts are not written to portray guilt or reward to any caregiver. The posts are intended to share a message about interacting intentionally with young people. Tell Our Children is all about uniting, mentoring, and inspiring caregivers to improve communications with the youth. Every post is intended to empower readers to improve interactions with younger generations. Tell Our Children strives to educate caregivers on ways to better Teach, Encourage, Listen, and Love – T.E.L.L. – young people. We believe everyone can T.E.L.L. youth better.
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149: What image of yourself do you TELL?

We T.E.L.L. our image. Everything you do, everything you say becomes a part of the image you establish. People see and hear you, then they connect that behavior to you. That is how they imagine you.

There is an exercise where an individual is asked to write their own eulogy. The person is to think about what they would like spoken about them at their funeral. Then the follow-up is doing those things – having those interactions so others see you acting this way. The people see you, then think and decide this about you.

The eulogy exercise emphasizes how you T.E.L.L. your image to others. How you walk and talk becomes your image. The question then is what are you teaching about yourself? What are you encouraging? Listening? Loving? The answer to these questions establish your image. You impact what others think about you based on your interactions with them, or lack of interactions with them.

What do you want people thinking and saying about you? What do you want spoken at your eulogy? Live the image you desire … T.E.L.L. your image.

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Please note the Show & T.E.L.L. posts are not written to portray guilt or reward to any caregiver. The posts are intended to share a message about interacting intentionally with young people. Tell Our Children is all about uniting, mentoring, and inspiring caregivers to improve communications with the youth. Every post is intended to empower readers to improve interactions with younger generations. Tell Our Children strives to educate caregivers on ways to better Teach, Encourage, Listen, and Love – T.E.L.L. – young people. We believe everyone can T.E.L.L. youth better.
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