It’s Wednesday, and I hope you’re having an empowering week! If not, I hope you look to someone who can tell you better – someone who is willing to teach, encourage, listen, and love you better! Are you willing to let others tell you better? (Post #104)
Today, let’s talk about encouragement. The people who tell you better do not only teach you new ideas, they also encourage you to progress, to grow stronger and wiser emotionally. Encouragement fuels the emotional part of telling someone. Try and find individuals who get you to feel ‘I can learn from this’. These people give you the ‘courage’ to step out into the unknown.
Any time you want your story to change, encouragement is critical. Be aware of those who are quick to pacify your situation or start to give you all the outside reasons you need do nothing. These individuals may help you feel better, but they also convince you to do nothing. This is not the encouragement you need to change your story. You will feel better, encouraged in the short run, but in the long run your story doesn’t change unless you take action, get courageous to think and act better.
Find individuals who present new ideas – teach you, and they also aim to lift you up. They don’t stop in the grief; they don’t just correct your situation. They let you know they see you creating a better story, and they are there to help you find that ‘courage’ inside of you. Your thoughts, attitudes, love, and purpose unite – with this person you become better! Now, that’s the encouragement needed to create a better story. How will you receive this encouragement?
I believe the first time I heard this quote When the student is ready, the teacher will appear, I was listening to an interview with Wayne Dyer – one of the great teachers of life. I have thought of these words often since hearing the phrase, especially in moments I desire my life story to change. That is, in those moments where I feel there is a disconnect between my current situation and what I desire. There have also been times when I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the teachers who have appeared. Now I try to always be a student who is ready.
Teachers have the potential to impact your life story to tell. It is important this person be a good teacher, someone who has the experience to know better and is able to assess and give you advice. Consciously and wisely choose your teachers. In the previous post (110), you were encouraged to seek and identify good teachers, individuals who you believe help you mature in a positive direction. Have you thought about whose advice you follow? Have you thought about who can lead you in positive directions? Have you thought about how your interactions with this person allow the learning to occur? (Post 109)
As important as it is to find good teachers, the first part of this quote is key: when the student is ready. Ultimately, learning is what you do as a student. The teacher may be able to help your growth happen faster. A teacher can light the way and ease the way, but you as the learner have to be curious enough to walk the path. You have to be the student willing to learn.
How open are you to learning new ideas? Do you have a mindset of curiosity? Do you walk the path of a learner intentionally?
If you’ve ever experienced trying to be a teacher of a resistant student, you may understand how important it is for the student to be willing. Have you ever tried to help someone who is interacting with a closed mind, not willing to consider new ideas? Bottom line: The student who is not curious to hear new ideas will not learn. It does not matter how good the teacher is when the student is not ready and willing to learn.
How willing are you to be a learner? Are you hoping you learn what you need in life? Or do you actively seek opportunities to learn and know better? Are you willing to be a student when you interact with others?
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. How about we all try to be students today? Every interaction, be a student and try to learn something new. What teachers appear?
The Show & T.E.L.L. Blog is currently focused on creating a life story to tell. If you would like to skim through the previous posts, the current series started in Post #102. However, in the last post (#109), I concluded that instead of thinking about accomplishments or whatever you feel creates your story, think about your interactions. Every interaction involves telling a story.
We all have moments of frustration, discouragement, disappointment, and failure. We also have moments where we do not know what to do. These are moments where our current thinking limits our thoughts and actions. In these moments, we want our story to change, to get better.
When you want the story to change, to get better, start by looking to individuals who Teach, Encourage, Listen, Love you better. Who tells me better? Today, I can’t help but think of the teachers in my life who tell me better.
I am forever grateful for the teachers in my life. These are the ones I know I can go to for good advice. They have life experiences and they have a genuine desire to open minds to possibilities. They have ideas I may not realize on my own in the moment. Their ideas are for my benefit.
Some of the teachers I know personally, others I have found on the Internet, in a book, from a course I bought or attended, as well as now some of my teachers I follow on Snap Chat or YouTube.
Who are your teachers? Who will you follow when you need to do and feel better? Who will you reach out to when you don’t know how to get your needs met with your current understanding? Who do you think of when you need someone with more experience, someone who knows better? Who are your good teachers in life? Whose advice are you following?
It is important to know whose teachings you willingly follow, because whatever they teach you influences your story, for better or worse. Who are you following? Who is leading you?
We should always be looking for good teachers. Can you list at least two individuals who teach you better about life in general? Who is your teacher in the area of health and fitness? Who is your teacher in the area of finances? Relationships? Who is your teacher in terms of your work?
Who are your teachers? Whose advice are you allowing to influence your story?
There is enthusiasm and hope inside all of us. Don’t we all desire to create and tell a good story? Especially to children in our lives?
I hope the Show & TELL posts starting at #102 have inspired you to think about your story. I pray you have had the chance to think about who the people are in your life who you want to tell your best story and who in your life helps you create your best story.
For years, I thought about my story in terms of accomplishments, as well as being a role model of hard work, perseverance, patience, improvement, etc. I was progressing in ways I believed created a better story. “Improvement counts, no matter how small” was a slogan I kept in mind.
Then about seven years ago, it occurred to me the accomplishments and role model efforts did greatly influence my story; however, this all had to do with my daily interactions. I interacted with people as I worked on accomplishments. Role modeling is based on how I interact with others. Why not think more about the interactions more than accomplishments or being a role model?
Since then, I think about how every interaction, to some degree, has teaching, encouraging, listening, and loving. The question is: to what degree do we tell? This question has became especially valuable when there is a disagreement, when the individual and I did not see the situation or our relationship in the same way. How could I teach, encourage, listen, and love – tell them? How are they telling me?
These questions have saved me from embarrassment, made me realize that I need to walk away right now! Kept me calm, honest … many times! Asking ‘How can I tell you; what did he or she just tell me?’ created better interactions with others, which impacted my story.
The next four posts, I will look at each of these: teaching,encouraging, listening, and loving. In the mean time, the next time there is a disagreement in thought or action, consider thinking about how you tell the person. The interaction will become part of your daily story.
Happy Monday! A new day and new week to make progress on a story called ‘Life, my journey to tell!’ Have you decided whether you are going to be passive or willing to create a better story to tell? (Post #103). Every day this is your choice.
Are you are committed to creating a better story to tell? Have you taken the step to think about and identify the individuals who have 24/7 access to you? (Post #106) Have you taken the step to identify and reflect on the five people you spend the most time with? (Post #107) Are you aware of who you go to for advice, those who help you? (Post #105)
Let’s see what these people say about the story you have been creating so far…
In the next few days, ask one or two of these people, “What do you think matters most to me?” “What would you say I do?” Listen to what these people say. They are the ones you give most of your time and attention. They are the ones, if anyone, who should be able to let you know about the story you are creating.
In the first Show & T.E.L.L. post of this series (Post #102), we talked about how our nonprofit Tell Our Children realized we had to redefine our story. When we asked individuals familiar with our work “What do you think matters most to our organization?” or “What would you say we do?” their answers did not match the story we had in mind. This was a reason we had to redefine what we were saying and doing. We had to interact differently so we could create the story we intended, create a better story.
The same is true in our personal lives. When you ask those closest to you, “What do you think matters most to me? and “What would you say I do?” if they say they are not sure, or they state different ideas, then you must realize you are not intentionally creating your story! What you say and do around these people does not communicate a clear picture of your life! On the other hand, if they respond with ideas consistent to the story you desire, then you can know you are doing the work that matters most to you. You are on your way, creating your story. You are telling your story to these people.
The information you get from these people is valuable. Listen to what they say. They will inform you the details of the story you are communicating to others. It is your choice. Are you willing to create a better story to tell?
In Wednesday’s post (#106), I reflected on a time I intentionally thought about the steps I was taking toward a successful story to tell my children…
It wasn’t until I became selective and started taking responsibility for my time and energy that I started taking responsibility for my interactions. I asked myself, “Who does have unlimited access? Who are the people I am willing to be always available for 24/7?” I became responsible for who I was giving my time and energy to. I could no longer blame others for zapping me and for not giving me enough time to create my story to tell.
It matters to whom you give your time and energy. In other words, your interactions with others matter. Your interactions become your story. At work you may not have a choice who you interact with throughout your day; however, you do have some choice when it comes to your personal time.
If you didn’t take the time to think about and identify the people in your life who get 24/7 access to you, take a minute and do that now before you read on….
Do you have at least one person in mind?
Now think about the stories you tell each other. Do you tell each other good stories? Can you honestly say you both teach, encourage, listen, and love one another more times than not? It matters. If interactions become part of your life story, it’s important to realize the answer to these two questions: How are you telling them? How are they telling you?
There is a quote by Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Have you ever thought about being the average of the five people you spend the most time with? I know when I first heard this, it caused me to stop and reflect back on my life. Especially during challenging moments, I saw how this was quite true. The five people I spent most of my time with greatly influenced how I thought and acted, for better and worse. Who are the five people you spend most of your time with? Better to know who they are because they are the ones influencing your story, for better or worse.
Of the people you identified as having 24/7 access to you, think about how each one impacts your story. How do you impact his or her story? Are these relationships ones where you teach, encourage, listen, and love one another as you interact …. more times than not? Are your 24/7 people among the five you spend most of your time with? If not them, then who are the five people you spend most of your time with? On average, do you have people empowering you to move forward in creating your story, or not? On average, do you hear more “I can” or “I can’t” messages? What messages are you getting? What messages do you tell people in your life?
If you want to create a successful story, doesn’t it make sense to spend time with people who tell you good, successful stories? They tell stories that allow others to see something new, something not yet imagined. They help others see how situations can be better and how to feel better. They help lead others toward a next possible step toward progress.
Who is showing up to tell you better? Who is showing up to tell you that you can when it feels like you can’t? What message will you tell those you spend a lot of time with? What message will you tell the youth in your life?