The Show & T.E.L.L. Blog has been sharing how caregivers respond when a child lies. (Except the post this past Tuesday – our 100th post – where we asked for your constructive feedback. If you didn’t reply, please link here to read how you can help us improve our services.)
So far we have nine posts in this series. The posts have stirred mixed emotions in our readers. I have received messages complimenting the ideas being discussed, as well as few challenging comments. During the next two weeks, I will share those thoughts and feelings. If you wish to add your ideas to the discussion, please send them my way!
Here is a summary of the nine posts. To read them, you can link to the post by clicking on the text.
#1: When my child lies to me, how should I TELL her to be honest? started the series. In this post, I share a grandmother’s story about her 10 year old granddaughter telling white lies, “My granddaughter…recently started telling little white lies. For example, the other day right after taking a shower, I asked if she washed her hair. She said she did, but it was obvious that she didn’t.”
#3: Create a T.E.L.L.ing memorable moment when a child lies is about how one subscriber remembers how her grandmother responded to her lie when she was 7 years old…”My grandmother was baking cookies for her church group… and they smelled so good! Without thinking, I went up and grabbed four or five of them to take to my room.”
#4: How I tried to address my child’s lie is where one of our subscribers shares how she responded when she heard her 16-year-old daughter lying on the phone to a friend. “She asked, “Mom, what do I say when the truth is I’d rather be with [other friend’s name] than go to the movies with her? I can’t tell her that. That’s mean.”
#5: A teacher shares valuable insight about children and lying describes a conversation she had with her 12- 13-year-old students about lying. “I said to my students something like, ‘I need your help. My neighbor’s son lied to his mom last night and I want to know why you think he would do that.‘”
#6: Seeing lies from a child’s eyes is a guest post by Caroline, where she shares a moment she experienced with her 4-year-old daughter. “I realized she hadn’t lied to me about what she did, because she didn’t have a clear understanding of what she was supposed to do in the first place. In her mind, I asked her to do something with her clothes, so she did the best she could.”
#7: A teenager’s perspective on what lying is and isn’t is where I share parts of a conversation I had with a 14-year-old boy about lying. “Before I realized it was a lie, I remember it giving me a rush when I didn’t tell the whole truth and I got away with it. Once I knew I was lying, I didn’t feel that rush any more.”
#8: Father-son interaction become lessons that last a lifetime is about a memory one of our subscribers had with his father when he was 6 years old. “My dad saw it [a sheriff’s badge] and asked me where I got it. I said, ‘I found it.’ He said, ‘Show me where you found it.’ As we walked back toward the store, he looked down and saw the cardboard backing for the badge. He stopped, picked it up and put it up next to my badge. Perfect match!”
#9: A subscriber’s 3-year-old son takes a child’s toy; what to do next? Brings into our discussion the uncertainty we all experience when interacting with a child in these situations. What to say; what not to say? “I left thinking maybe I should have handled this differently. Should I bring up what happened yesterday? Did I miss an opportunity to t.e.l.l. him better about lying – taking his friend’s car without asking?”